Not The Same Church
by Jerik454
Summary: AU Church has survived the EMP and made a deal with the director to make him a new human body and get him into the marines. Tex has also received a new human body courtesy of the director and been put in charge of the Reds and Blues
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

"Holy Shit! I'm still alive!" exclaimed Church right after the EMP went off. He felt more complete then he had right before going into the Meta's head then he realized, he felt complete because he was, he was the full alpha again he had all his parts. Then it hit him the Meta must have used the dome shield it had protected him from the EMP but in the process had his armor shut off.

Soon Project Freelancer personal were flooding the room pointing their guns at the Meta as they took church and put him in a holding unit. They walked out of the building dragging the Meta along with them as they boarded a pelican it was a long flight

He heard one marine say "So this is the alpha eh George"

The marine in question just looked at him and said "of course what you expect it to be like a giant robot or something? Cause if you did you're a moron John"

"So what if I thought it was gonna be something cooler then just a chip you put in your head" replied John

At this point Church decided he would contribute to the conversation "So what if I am dickhead! Cause I'm still cooler then you fuckers"

Both marines would've fallen out of their seats if not for the bar preventing it. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU!" Screamed George

"I'm the alpha dumbass" replied Church

"But but you can talk!" exclaimed John.

" why wouldn't I cockbite" Church said

After this the flight continued in silence until they docked at a space station above some inner colony. Two marines dressed similarly to George and John took alpha of the ship and took him to see the director

"Why hello alpha it is nice to see you again." The director said

" I wish I could say the same _director"_ replied Church with malice

"Alpha if you stop the hostility I'm willing to make you a deal I will build you a new body, a human body, get you into the real marine corp and actual training if you testify in my defense at the trial" the director offered

"Fine but we are still not square" replied Church "_fucker_" Church said under his breath

"Now that is settled then" said the director "it will take up to five weeks for me to clone you a body so it doesn't die in a few months like a flash clone" said the director

End Flash back

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And that is how Church ended up wearing a marine recruit uniform in a pelican headed for earth still marveling at his new body.

"You act like you've never seen it before" said the marine next to Church

" what?" Said Church

"You act like you've never seen your body before, I'm Ben by the way Ben Martzke" said Ben sticking out his hand

"I'm Church er Leonard Church but you can just call me Church" he replied shaking Ben's hand

"Well Church it's nice to meet you, so you think you're gonna like the marines?" Ben asked

"I think I am" said Church "it's a hell of a lot better then that damned canyon" he muttered

"What?" Said Ben "it sounded like you said something?"

"It's nothing" replied Church

Soon Ben, Church and the other recruits got out of the pelican and filed into the training base's main building where they were immediately greeted by a marine in his late thirties. "Welcome to the UNSC training base know as north woods in the state of Wisconsin it is here that you will be trained to be true soldiers, true marines after which you all be sent out to your first active duty post or if you're good enough you will be sent to train as an ODST do I make myself clear." The marine clearly their drill sergeant asked

"yes sir" they said with little enthusiasm

" I said do I make myself clear" the sergeant said again

"YESSIR" they said with more enthusiasm

"Good you are dismissed go choose a bunk you will receive you battle dress uniforms or BDUs in five minutes" he said as he turned to walk away.

Church and Ben chose bunks next to each other. "So what did you think of the sergeant?" asked Ben

"Exactly what I expected" said Church

"I thought you'd say that, so what do you what to train as?" replied Ben

"I'm going to train as a sniper, what bout you?" Church answered

"Me I'm gonna train as an engineer dad owned a car repair place back home" said Ben as he began putting his stuff in his locker.

"you any good at fixing stuff?" Church asked

"of course I am" said Ben looking slightly insulted

"Ladies!" they were abruptly interrupted as the Sergeant walked in. "pack away your gear then head down to the mess for dinner" he said

"YESSIR!" They all said snapping to attention. "You know this isn't half bad" Thought Church as he was marching behind Ben toward the mess.

Church had a bowl of MRE chili for dinner that night. "Is it any good" Ben asked looking up from his own spaghetti and meat balls.

"Yeah it's way better then I thought it would be" Church answered

The next day Church woke up to the sound of his sergeant shouting "get up ladies rise and shine all the recruits grudgingly got up. Everything started to down hill when one recruit asked "when do we get our guns sir" the sergeant turned to look at him and said "what did you just say son"

"I asked when we get our guns sir" repeated the hapless recruit fear in his voice

"first off you will get your _rifles _now and you will stand out in front of the barracks with them in your hands for three hours every time one is dropped I and another 15 minutes to your PT" the sergeant decreed

And that is how Church ended up holding his rifle at arms length for four hours. After the grueling PT they went to the shooting range for fire arms practice.

In the first week Church was probably the worst soldier in the entire group But he still tried to compete with Ben even though Ben was probably the best soldier in the group. So Church started spending all his spare time practicing and reading books on strategy by the second week Church could compete with Ben and win and by the fourth week he was the best soldier and won nearly everything. By the time the 13th week rolled around and their training was starting to end their sergeant came into the room and Said "one week form now you will be competing against training group 9 in a game of capture the flag for this game you must designate a group leader this is to be your final field test" as he was saying this he was passing out pieces of paper. "On this slip of paper right who you believe should be the teams commander do you understand?"

"Yessir!" Came the chorus of voices.

"good" he said as he began to collets the pieces of paper. "your team leader is Private Leonard Church." the sergeant announced

"well might as well start planning" Church thought as they were dismissed.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Tex looked around her inside the pelican "great just great" she thought "I get promoted to sergeant and these idiots just happen to be my squad." She looked down at her black BDU, once her and the morons had been put into the actual marines they had lost their MJOLNIR armor and had been given standard BDUs. However, they had been given uniforms in the color of their former armor courtesy of the director just like her new human body.

She was roughly taken out of her thoughts when she heard Tucker scream "OOOOOOOWWWWW!" and saw him rolling around on the ground clutching his balls.

"I told you not to come in here you fucking pervert!" screamed four-seven-niner as she locked the cockpit. The director had assigned the Freelancers' personal pilot to fly them back to Blood Gulch, where they would spend the rest of their military careers watching for nonexistent signs of the insurrection and covenant remnant.

"Hey Tucker nice job hitting on the pilot" said Grif laughing "you sure did well."

"Shut the fuck up Grif you couldn't do any better" said Tucker hobbling back to his seat and sitting down painfully. The next few hours went by with very little conversation And the little of it was telling Donut to shut up as he tried (and failed) to start conversations. Ten hours later they exited the pelican near the new Blood Gulch base, which was just a large warehouse like structure in the center of the canyon.

"Well this looks different" Said Grif

"yeah well it's still a hell hole" replied Tucker as he carried his duffle bag into the front room of the barracks and laid it on the nearest bunk.

"I hate to agree with Tucker but he's right, it is a hell hole here" said Simmons setting his gear down on a bunk as far away from Tucker as possible.

"Set your stuff down and get out here we've got work to do" Tex ordered

"wait we have to do work!?" Grif complained

"That's right private and you have to get off your lazy keister and help" sarge said

"You know I hate to agree with Grif but it does seem a bit like over kill I mean if we are going to work Grif would just slow us down" said Simmons sitting down on his bed

"Well I don't care so you're going to do exactly what I order, wait where are Caboose and Donut?" Said Tex

" Oh no!" they all screamed in unison and ran towards the armory where they saw Caboose running around with part of his blue BDU and Donut's pink one painted red by-

"STUN ROUNDS THEY GAVE US STUN ROUNDS!" Tex screamed and raged that the UNSC wouldn't give them real bullets, sure only giving them pistols she could understand but not giving them real bullets that really made her mad so she decided to vent her anger on Tucker, by shooting him in the nuts several times with stun rounds.

"Oooowwww! what the fuck was that for!" Tucker screamed while rocking back and forth in the fetal position.

"I was angry" Tex answered

"HOW IS THAT A REAS-OOOWWW!" he was roughly cut off as she kicked him in answer to his unfinished question."uuuuuggggghhhhhh" he moaned as he rolled around on the concrete floor.

A few days later Tex, Tucker, Grif, Simmons, and Sarge had barricaded themselves in the communications room to hide from Caboose and Donut who were trying to get them to play some stupid game that Donut had brought with him.

"Well this sucks" said Grif saying what they were all thinking.

"Yeah well we really don't have any other choice unless you actually want to play Donut's stupid game" replied Simmons

"I'll pass" said Grif

"I think I heard something" they all heard Caboose say At that they all shut up.

"I think it came from the communications room" replied Donut

"Yes it came from the communist room" said Caboose nodding.

"shit!" said Tex, and they all knew they were screwed

"EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!" screamed Griff as Donut came into the room And they all scattered. In the end Caboose had caught them all and brought them to Donut.

"Now who wants to play twister!" said Donut happily

"Not us!" they all screamed

"Aaaaawwwww you're no fun" Donut replied "come one Caboose lets go."

"Ok" said Caboose following Donut happily

"That was close" said Tucker as they all went back to their duties. For once Tex agreed with Tucker even though it disgusted her. She was now beginning to understand why Church had hated all of them.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Church quickly strapped his armor on and grabbed his sniper rifle and assault rifle as he ran to the front of the armory, which was just a giant door that opened up to the forest outside.

"Blue team commanded by Pvt Leonard Church will compete against red team commanded by Pvt Harold Johannes in capture the flag" Church heard announced over the PA as the door opened. He had a sudden memory of a soldier in red Mk V armor carrying a blue flag through a sandy canyon. He quickly shook off the memory. The Church that had failed to recover that flag and had been killed in the process was now gone he had been replaced by him some weeks back.

"So sir what are we gonna do" asked Ben looking at him

"I'll tell you what we're gonna do" said Church "we are going to separate in to four groups I'll command one directly, Ben you lead one, Trevor you take the third, and Alex I take it you can drive? Cause you're in command of the warthog. Got it?" He said. "Ben I want you to rig that active camo unit to the warthog because it's going right up the center, Ben you'll take the north flank, and Trevor you take the south, Jay and I will watch the flag." After that Church dismissed them but Alex came right up to him, he watched as the female marine came up to him "Yes?" He asked.

"Why'd you put me in command of the warthog team" she questioned "I mean I can understand making Ben and Trevor squad leaders, but I'm nothing special" she said

"I made you squad leader because you're the best driver" he said flatly

"Oh really" she asked disbelieving

At that point Ben interrupted them."The jeep is ready to cloak sir" he said

"Ok then, get ready to move out everyone" Church said as he started climbing into a tree near the flag. Everyone began to move out to their assignments. Not long after they had all left Church and Jay heard and saw gun fire through the trees. Suddenly they saw three marines in olive BDUs with red stripes on their helmets and shoulders running through the trees towards the flag.

Crack. Crack. Church and Jay both fired their snipers hitting the first two soldiers in the the Chest the third dropped to the ground and started crawling away as fast as possible. Crack. Church fired and hit him in the back.

"Ok, Jay you stay and guard the flag" said church as he dropped to the ground and began running of in the direction of the enemy flag.

"What are you gonna do" Jay said after him but Church didn't hear. "God damn it" Jay muttered.

Church dropped in to a creek as he began heading into red Territory. He chose to stick close to the creek bed to avoid being seen.

"Hey Church where the fuck are you we're pinned down here!" Ben said over the radio. Church looked at his motion radar and noticed that red team was exactly where he wanted them.

"I'm on my way to get the flag, keep up the good work" he said. At that he climbed up the stream bed and headed towards the flag.

"What did he say" Trevor asked Ben over the radio.

"He said that he was going to get the flag and to keep up the good work" Ben answered.

"That son of a bitch, we're just a distraction!" Trevor said.

"Yeah guess we are" Ben agreed. "God damn it!" He said as a DMR round flew over his head.

The first thing Church noticed around the red flag was a lack of guards, then he realized when he saw movement up in the branches of the trees that they were hidden. He quickly ducked behind a tree and pulled out his sniper. Crack!

"Gotcha" he said quietly when he saw the first guard fall from a branch after taking a stun round to the chest. "Now for you" he said as he turned his gun on the second guard. Crack! The second guard fell and he quickly ran and grabbed the flag.

He jumped back into the creek and was half way back when . . .

"Ha! You thought you could get away with our flag" said the middle of the three red marines that had just jumped in front of him. He couldn't shoot them all, or could he?

"here's your flag back" he said as he began to make as if he was handing their flag to them and he set his sniper rifle on the creek bed.

"That's right you're surrendering" said the middle marine triumphantly as he began to reach for the flag, the other two lowered their weapons. Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack! Church fired a burst from his assault rifle taking out all three.

"Yeah I think I'll just keep this flag and take it off your hands for a while" said Church as he turned and began running back towards his base.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS CHURCH! We are taking a pounding out here!" Screamed Alex over the roar of her warthog's machine gun.

"I don't know" Ben replied over the radio as he tucked behind cover yet again.

"Blue team victory" they all heard announced over the PA.

"We won Church came through!" Trevor yelled as blue team started Cheering.

"Well I think you own me an apology" said Church when they were all in transport warthogs on their way back to base (red team being the losers were forced to jog behind).

"Us own you an apology! Really?!" Said Ben incredulously. "You used us as a fucking ploy"

"Yeah, but we still won because I got the flag while they were distracted" Church replied

"Shut up" they all said.

"Wow no need to be assholes about my genius plan" Church said indignantly.

"Cocky much" Alex asked smirking.

"No just truthful" Church replied. That shut them up because well, he _was_ right in a way. When they made it back to base they all had one day to pack before the sergeant gave them their orders and they shipped out to their new assignments.

The next day the sergeant stood in the center of the barracks and called out the names of his recruits to give them orders, those called in groups were stationed together. when sergeant called Church, Ben, Trevor, and Alex up last.

"Congratulations recruits you're shipping out to be trained as ODSTs in Death Valley" the sergeant told them handing them all a lance corporal insignia.

"Sir wasn't the Death Valley training camp bombed and destroyed by the Covenant during the battle of Earth?" Asked Church

"That it was lance corporal that it was, but they rebuilt it, it has been a year and a half since that attack. Now I recommend you get going your pelican is waiting outside get some sleep during the ride you'll need it" the sergeant replied.

They all headed outside and boarded the pelican most of them were asleep within the first five minutes, it was going to be a long ride to their new base.


End file.
